When Wrigley was 11-weeks old I went back to work – he went to my mom’s house a few days a week, and my little brother watched him weekly on another day. What a blessing for him to be one-on-one with family; what a huge advantage for me to have that kind of support as a working mom.
But I still struggled with our arrangements. I worked out of the house four days a week, and never found fulfillment in my career the way I did before Wrigley was born. It just felt as if my head and heart were elsewhere, and my career no longer motivated me as it once did.
I hopped around – to three other roles. And I just couldn’t get my head back in the game. Turns out motherhood changed more than I had expected.
I didn’t want to stop working, I absolutely love to work and to be challenged, but something more than department and title had to change.
And I changed it. Little by little, with every ounce of my patience challenged, I put the pieces in place to leave the career path I had worked so hard to build.
It has now been a little over a year since I completely left my old world. And yes, there are days when I miss getting up and pulling myself together for a presentation or partner meeting. There are days I sincerely miss adult interactions. And I often envy those experiencing yearly traditions like annual reviews, team retreats, quarterly goal settings and the likes.
And yet, nothing will ever compare to the satisfaction I feel when one of my sons calls out mommy, and I am there to greet them. To hold them when they are in need of extra love. To play with them and be a part of their development. And to know every little nuance about their days as babes.
There are moments, especially the tiresome ones, where I wonder if they will ever appreciate that I was home with them. And if Dan truly understands and appreciates all that goes into being home full time.
But then I remind myself of one of life’s big lessons. Do it for you. Never do anything in life with the goal of receiving recognition, acknowledgement or credit. Do something, live a certain way, because it provides fulfillment to YOUR life.
And so I am doing just that. Savoring this time in life where I get to be home with my babies and all the happiness it brings to my life.