When I launched this blog, I did so because I was inspired after reading The Happiness Project to do more of what makes me happy.
The blog opened an outlet for me to write. And gave me a chance to reflect on life’s lovely little moments that bring happiness to my life. Double happy points.
Up until this point, it has been a space for me to write about life on the homefront. The kids. The husband. Our time together.
But I have had an itch to talk about heath, lifting, cooking, eating, running. So many of my passions that are a big part of who I am, and how I spend my time.
I didn’t want to write about weight loss though, and worried that if I started writing about healthy living it would turn into a conversation on weight loss.
From the time I was 10 and put on my first diet, until I found out I was pregnant with Wrigley, my whole world revolved around one thing – WEIGHT LOSS. And while it was my single biggest obsession for so long, I was awful at it.
I was always telling myself to diet harder. Cardio harder. And after spending 16 years in a disordered cycle, I did lose weight from time to time. And I did feel good from time to time.
But the weight always came back. And that is because I never worked on gaining health. My only focus was on losing weight.
While I went through my habitual weight loss routine after Wrigley was born, it was during my pregnancy with Parker that I hit a wall with my thoughts surrounding dieting and weight loss. And during that pregnancy, I ended up making some pretty drastic changes to my life.
Weight loss has never and will never look the same after that period of growth.
As a result, after Parker was born I never worked on losing weight. I continued the journey I started during my pregnancy, and worked to remove disordered habits from my life.
I didn’t lose much weight in between Parker’s delivery and Camden’s conception, but I did gain a lot in healthy habits. So much so that my pregnancy with Camden was an incredible one, and I felt fantastic.
And while the scale didn’t show many differences, a snapshot of all three of my pregnancies side by side showed something very different. I could see it in my face, I could feel it in my lifts, and I could sense it in the way I carried myself. I had never felt better.
Knowing that Camden was my last baby, while I was pregnant I often wondered what I would do about my body composition after he was born. Would I go on a diet? Would I make a focused attempt to lose weight? Would I train for weight loss?
Well, the answer to all of these questions turned out to be – kind of.
Undergoing my first surgery was an eye opening experience for so many reasons. It was the first time in my life I have ever felt so weak, and my body felt so challenged.
It has taken, and is still taking, so much work for my body to fully heal from such a major procedure. And I am only 30! I can’t imagine what it would be like to put my body under such medical stress at 60 or 70.
As we drove home from the hospital after Camden was born, it dawned on me that I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding surgery at all possible costs. No knee replacements. No heart procedures. I want to avoid all of the medical interventions that can come with a lifetime of unhealthy habits.
Don’t get me wrong, our c-section for Cam (who turned breech at 36 weeks), turned out to be a great experience. And there is definitely a time and a place for medical interventions, as we fully discovered with our unexpected ending to our pregnancy. But I don’t want to be put in that intense situation ever again, if I can make healthy choices now to avoid such outcomes.
For the first few weeks after Camden was born, I put these thoughts on the back burner. I ate to nourish my body, to heal, and to help Camden grow from a great milk supply.
Eventually I started moving again, getting in a bit of exercise here and there. But again, I moved to strengthen my body and to heal.
Now, as I am 12 weeks out from surgery, I am actively working to gain health.
As a part of that mission to gain health, I am working to lose weight, but I am not looking at how much I weigh. I don’t own a scale and could frankly care less about that number. My lean body mass and body fat percentage numbers are where my focus lies.
And here is the raw truth – I have a body fat percentage of 36% and that is just too high for optimal health.
So, here on this site, I am going to start talking about this piece of my life that occupies a large part of who I am.
I am going to start sharing on all that I am doing to gain health, and how I am pulling that body fat percentage number down to a healthy one.